From strangers to friends, friends to lovers and then from lovers back to strangers all over again. She considered that a relatively vicious cycle.

No one could escape it. At one point in time or another, everyone would have experienced that same pain, except to different degrees. We all want to be loved and, in turn, it would be nice to be able to love someone else as well. But neither of us can deny the risk, the insecurity that comes along with that desire.

She took precautions when it came to making new friends and kept a distance when it came to maintaining friendships. It had been a long time since she offered anyone a chance to come close to knowing her. She had a barrier built after witnessing her parents failed marriage and her friends’ breakups. Maybe she secretly swore to never end up the same way, which explains her precarious character.

They always say, “Don’t find love. Let love find you. Because the most beautiful feelings cannot be seen, instead, it must be felt with the heart.” She faithfully remembered those words. Somehow, she managed to convince herself the reason why couples don’t work out is because either one of them, or both of them, rushed into a relationship without knowing for sure how they really felt about each other. So she continued to wait as she watched people come and go to and fro her life.

All these years, she often sought advice from and comfort in her closest friend. Whatever it is, there was never once she would leave him out on any event that took place in her life. He would do the same too. Although they didn’t talk or see one another everyday, they would always find time to catch up occasionally. That probably kept them together despite the physical distance apart. Having someone you can trust more than you could trust yourself is truly an amazing feeling, and that was what she clearly felt.

She was blessed with a sincere friend. Even though her happy, too-good-to-be-true family didn’t work out, even though there were times her friends left her in a lurch, she never lost hope thanks to him. Everyone could turn their backs on her but she would still be in the safest haven as long as he didn’t.

They had always been rather close. Days became months and months eventually turned to years but neither of them changed while everything else around them did. To each other, they remained the same person they were from the very beginning. This unchanging friendship, this unchanging comfort was something so rare. They hung out, just the two of them, at any café at any time of the day. They talked over the phone through the night till the dawn. They slept over at each other’s places, sharing the same bed, often talking till one of them fell asleep. They were that close.

They were comfortable with each other. Every Valentine’s Day, he would gift her with handmade chocolates and she always knitted something for him. Every birthday, they never failed to celebrate together. Along the way, maybe he realized it first, or maybe she did, but everyone else could see the affection they publicly displayed for one another.

Initially, he’d brush it off as a joke when his friends teased him while she’d tactfully avoid the question from her friends. Truth is, she wasn’t sure. She had never been either. She didn’t want to be part of the whole vicious cycle. As inevitable as her friends made it sound, she honestly never wanted to experience a break-up. What more, with her one and only real friend. If there was anything holding her back, it’d be subconsciously knowing there’s the risk of losing him forever.

On the other hand, he was pretty much the opposite of her. Confident and carefree, he’d rather worry less and pursue freely. He thought about the many opportunities life had to offer and he never once allowed the thought of potential failure to stop him from trying.

On some nights, he gently touched his own heart and asked himself how exactly did he feel towards her. Similarly, she did the same thing; only that she never answered her own question whereas he did.

“Falling.”

When the day came for them to hang out again, he looked at her with a gentle smile.